Marry Me Bill

I love you so, I always will. I look at you and see the passion eyes of May, but am I ever going to see my wedding day?

The other night I was watching an interview with Bill Clinton on CNN and thought to myself - "I am fucking mad at you! What were you thinking?" Now I must admit that I loved Bill. I loved him so much for being the first president to mention gays and lesbians in his speeches. He hosted a gay ball (I wasn't invited).  He paid attention to us and now we're paying for all of that attention.

DOMA was passed to "protect" marriage between one man and one woman. And we all know how the institution of marriage needs protection from us gays. I mean, with shows like The Bachelor and The Wives of Orange County, I can see how us gays are just destroying that paragon of the ultimate commitment - the marriage between one man and one woman. Who would want to mess with that perfect scenario?

Does anyone else find it ironic that Kenneth Starr is the lawyer representing the Prop 8 proponents and one of his most convincing arguments is DOMA? Where the hell would that guy be without Bill?

Then, of course, there's the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. It really pisses me off that the Clinton administration takes credit for coming up with that one when we all know the real person who came up with it - Ruth Gold. That's right - my mother, Ruth Gold. She's been using that policy for decades with her relatives and friends. Don't ask about Judith's personal life and I won't tell you about Judith's personal life.

So here is what I propose, Bill. I want to get married to my girlfriend - after DOMA is obliterated, that is. I mean it's only fair that I would want the federal government - to which I pay a portion of my earnings  - to protect my relationship and my family like it does those between one man and one woman. And here's the topper, Bill. I want you to marry us. Yup - you Bill. Will you preside? And though devotion rules my heart, I take no vows.  Oh, come on Bill! Come on Bill!! Come on and marry me Bill.  Please marry me Bill - I got the wedding bell blues!!!!

Where is the fury?

I spent last week hosting 2 marriage equality events - one was at the Gershwin Theatre in NYC, and the other at The Palace in Somerset, NJ. I grew up in NJ and never thought that it would be in the forefront of gay rights. I remember wanting to get out and move to NYC where "real" people lived. Little did I know there were more people like me in the garden state than I'd ever imagined. I am thrilled that we are almost there in New Jersey and New York, but I am outraged that we have to fight this fight.

I used to not care about getting married, or having kids for that matter. Now that I am a parent - a gay parent - I am extremely involved in the fight for marriage equality. How can anyone say that my family is not entitled to the same rights as a "traditional family?" I have news for you. My family is bound in tradition. We have a kosher kitchen (I cheat outside the house, but don't tell my kids), we have Shabbat dinners on friday nights, Henry is becoming a Bar Mitzvah in September, Ben and Henry both attend Hebrew school - and that's just the religious stuff. We have basketball games, soccer games, baseball games, parent-teacher conferences - everything that the "traditional family" has, except one thing - equal rights. 

I cannot believe people are not more outraged. We are living in the USA in 2009 and people who have been together for 40 years have no rights to their partner's social security benefits, inheritance exemptions and have to be questioned non-stop by hospital employees about whether or not a person is entitled to be at the bedside of his or her dying partner. Come on people!! Where is the anger? 

Look at my family through the eyes of my child and then maybe you can understand why this is so damn infuriating. Why do I have to pay taxes and then be treated like this? Why can't I grow up and get married to the person I love - just like every other straight person.  And yes, it should be called marriage - not civil union - not domestic partnership - MARRIAGE.  Separate is not equal.  Britney Spears can get married for 55 hours and I can't? Convicted felons can get married and I can't? Pedophiles can get married and I can't? HELLO?!!!!!! Do I have to wait until my kids grow up and change the laws because their generation gets it? I certainly hope not. 

I can't believe I'm mad at Bill Clinton - but DOMA was the worst thing he ever did - yes - even worse then getting that stupid blow job in the oval office. 

Who's Your Daddy?

I just posted a blog (entry) and then hit submit and it lost the entire thing, so now I am really pissed off. I wrote about how my son Henry is going to sleep-away camp this summer. He is going for 3 weeks because I think he's a bit apprehensive. Most camps are 6-7 weeks. He hasn't liked sleep-away camp in the past, so I wasn't going to force him to go longer. Anyway, I downloaded the camp admission forms from the camp website and printed them out. I was shocked to see that the forms read "Mother's Name", "Mother's address, "Mother's phone number", "Mother's occupation", blah blah blah. Then below: Father's name, Father's address, Father's phone number, Father's occupation, blah blah blah.

People do not realize how awful this kind of stuff can be for children of gay parents, let alone the parents, themselves. I crossed out the words mother and father and put parent and parent. After 9/11, when so many families were broken and so many single parents were made, I really thought this kind of stuff would stop -but it is everywhere. Henry came home from school a few weeks ago and he didn't know what to do because his health teacher told the students to ask their same sex parent a question.

These are teachers!!! So, I did what every "loud-mouthed I'm not going to take this anymore" gay parent would do. I wrote an e-mail to the camp director. Now, I didn't want to piss him off since this is the first year Henry is going to this camp. But as usual, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I asked him if he had ever considered changing their forms to say parent 1 and parent 2; oh, and I mentioned how excited we all were that Henry would be attending camp this summer. He wrote back and said they were on it. Forms were being changed. That felt great. Now I have to work on the NYC Public Schools to do the same. I don't ever want children of gay parents and single parents to feel that their family is less valid than any other family.