This is the speech I will be giving at Rutgers University tonight

I spent 4 years here at Rutgers. I came from a suburban New Jersey high school where I was the victim of persistent bullying. I was different. I was was 6 feet tall at the age of 13, and to make matters worse, I joined the marching band – but that’s another story. I was so nervous to go away to college. The night before I was to leave, I told my parents I was too scared to go. I thought the taunting would be non-stop because I was living in a dorm and that I would get no respit. My parents called my guidance counselor and asked him to come to our home and speak with me. And you know you’re screwed up when your H.S. guidance counselor is making house-calls and you’re not even in HS anymore. He assured me everything was going to be okay and the following day I moved into Campbell Hall.

I was lucky because my fears turned out to be just that – fears.  Rutgers gave me confidence, a future, lifelong friends and the strength to come out of the closet. All the things that that Tyler Clementi would have had, had he not been humiliated by 2 well-educated, well-to-do homophobes.

I feel like I have so much in common with Tyler Clementi. He loved music. He was in the Rutgers orchestra, and he was gay.  His precious life was cut short because of ignorance and humiliation. How must Tyler have felt being spied on simply because he was with someone of the same sex?  Would this have happened if he was in his room with a woman? Why would 2 college students who are both minorities in their own right, think it’s fine to shame another person simply for being gay?

In the past few weeks 5 children who were all subjected to anti-gay harassment in school have committed suicide by hanging, handgun or jumping off a bridge.

13-year old Asher Brown from Texas

13-year-old Seth Walsh from California

15-year-old Billy Lucas from Indiana

15-year old Justin Aaberg from Minnesota

and

18-year-old Tyler Clementi from New Jersey

And these are only the ones that were reported. How many more were there? How many more will there be? Why in this day and age did Tyler think there was no other course of action?

I’ll tell you why. Because being bullied because you are gay is the last acceptable form of bullying. Because bullies see gay people being thrown out of the military. They see gay people fighting tooth and nail for basic civil, human rights only to have them denied or taken away. Because in our country there are laws that prevent us from getting married, adopting children, getting health benefits, visiting our partners in the ICU, being protected at work, and in some places in even securing a place to live.  Because kids turn on the TV or radio or go to church and hear religious leaders who preach hatred and call us sinners and abominations to G-d. Because they hear politicians use anti-gay rhetoric to get votes.  Because teachers and parents  turn a blind eye to slurs like faggot and dyke. This is what killed Tyler Clementi.

      

Shame on you, Bishop Eddie Long

Shame on you, Rush Limbaugh

Shame on you, Sarah Palin

Shame on you, Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Shame on you Antonin Scalia

Shame on you Fred Phelps

Shame on you Jim Demint

Shame on you Ann Coulter

Shame on you Senators Joseph Cardinale, Sean Kean, Shirley Turner and John Girgenti

You give a clear message that we are less than. That we are not worthy of the same rights as you.  – YOU are the ones who are killing these children.

And the gay community is not without blame. For all those adults who don’t have the courage to come out of the closet, you are doing a huge disservice to our gay youth. It is our responsibility to be out and proud. It is our responsibility to let people know that yes, your neighbor is gay, your uncle is gay, your teacher is gay, your bus driver is gay.  Everyone needs to know that they know and love a gay person, and when that time comes, perhaps this world will change.

Being a homosexual is about who you love. It should not be a death sentence. Tell your child it is okay to be gay. Don’t let Tyler Clementi die in vain.

Brand Shmand

Okay, I've officially had it. So, I've been pitching a reality show with 2 amazing producers. The premise is this divorced lesbian mom of 2 who lives in a 950 square foot apartment in NYC with  her 2 kids. They have1 bathroom. She is a comedian, but her kids want her to have a "normal" job like the other kids' parents.  Her mother is in a nursing home, her girlfriend is a therapist, and her ex lives several blocks away with her girlfriend in a palatial apartment with a fireplace. (She's not bitter at all.)  She is struggling to make a living without going on the road and being away from her kids. Each week she tries out a new career so she doesn't have to go on the road anymore. She'll try anything - Bus driver, toll collector, carpet cleaner, Mr. Softee, tour guide, security guard, dog walker,  etc.  The great thing about the show is that it deals with so many issues that the majority of the population is dealing with - divorce, parenting, step-parenting, aging parent, (parent, parent parent), career crisis, mid-life crisis, money crisis (crisis, crisis, crisis).  We would end each episode with Shabbat dinner - something we do every friday night.

Now, one of the pivotal themes to the show is that we're gay, yet all of the issues we deal with are the same as straight families. It would show the world that our families are just like every other family, and perhaps  people would watch and forget that we are a gay. Maybe a gay teen would watch, and learn that he/she has the world at his fingertips - that there is nothing he can't accomplish - that he can have a family - especially in the wake of several tragedies in the past few weeks.  Doesn't that sound amazing?

Well we have been rejected at 4 networks thus far. Yesterday I found out that TLC passed. "They really like you, and they really like the show, but it doesn't fit with their brand." Their brand? What is their brand? A guy with 4 fucking wives and 16 kids trying to show that his family is just like mine? Someone who took fertility drugs, had 8 kids, went through a bitter public divorce and then got a ton of plastic surgery? That's a fantastic brand.  I don't think polygamy is normal. Sorry. I don't think polygamy is an "alternative lifestyle." I think it's barbaric. I don't even like to share my food, and these people are sharing a husband. Oh, those kids are going to be so well adjusted, and I'm sure the girls will have great self-esteem. But I guess it's a brand - like Sara Lee.  I wonder what she would do if her husband was screwing 3 other women in her home. I mean, come on, nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.