My friend Greg Giraldo died yesterday. He was an exceptional talent, a hell of a guy, a dad, a genius, and a tortured soul. He was an amazing stand-up, and anytime I asked him to do a benefit for one of my kid's schools, he always said yes. He was so nice to the female comics - he was nice to everyone. Our kids go to the same school, and I keep thinking I'll see him dropping off or picking up his kids at the playground. Addiction is such an awful disease, and I wonder how someone with such a promising future could just end it all - just for that high. He didn't mean to do it, and yet so many lives are changed forever. Whomever gave him those drugs should be thrown in jail. The saddest part is how he brought laughter and joy to so many, and yet he couldn't find a way to find that within himself.
Then there is Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers student who jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate secretly videotaped him with another man and posted it on the internet. He was an accomplished musician, and apparently a very nice person. But he was so humiliated by 2 ignorant, homophobic people, that he thought the only solution was to end his life. I so wish I could have spoken to him. I too was a music student at Rutgers. I know how difficult it is to be living in a dorm surrounded by straight people who don't know that you're gay. I was there in the 80's when people stayed in the closet. It's 2010 and this auspicious young man felt he had no other choice then to end his life? Why is that even an option?
Finally, there is Asher Brown - gay 13 year old boy in Houston, Texas who shot himself in the head after being constantly bullied at school. Why is this kind of bullying overlooked? Why did he think the only solution was to end his life? Wasn't there someone he could talk to? He's 13 years old - which is hard enough - but a gay 13 is even harder. And the kids that bullied him, how are they going to feel when they grow up and realize what they did? What do their parents think? My kids would never bully another child because they are accepting of other people - especially since their family is treated as second class by so many in this country. It's time this country gets with the program. We owe it to our gay teens to let them know they can have it all. That there is nothing wrong with them, and that there are places for them to go, and people for them to talk to. Shame on those bullies and those teachers who knew this was going on and turned a blind eye. Shame on those parents who teach their children that homosexuality is bad or sick. This has got to end already.
These are all major tragedies. Greg, Tyler and Asher all had so much to look forward to, so much to live for, and now so many lives are changed forever.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Four Moms
So I'm watching the Today Show last week, as I do every morning, and lo and behold was a man with his 4 wives. He was sitting there like a pompous ass surrounded by his 4 wives, talking about his 16 kids and how life is hunky dory. The women acknowledged that there is some jealously among the wives, but how overall, life is wonderful, and their living arrangement is ideal. They want people to learn more about how they live and how "normal" they are, so guess what? They have a reality show on TLC.
Now, I have been pitching a reality show for a while. Stop judging. I don't think it's ideal to have my children on television, but I do think it's important to put a real family with gay parents on TV. I have always wanted to do a show about my family where people watch it and forget that we're gay because we just as boring as everyone else, and deal with the same everyday issues. I am a stand-up comic, I have 2 sons, one adopted, one bio, an elderly mother in a nursing home, a partner, an ex-partner who has a partner, lots of supportive friends and one bathroom. So essentially, my kids have 4 moms too, but we're not all sleeping with the same guy - actually we're not sleeping with any guys. My kids are pretty normal - I mean as normal as you're going to get with a mother who is a comedian. Now wouldn't you watch that show?
I'm getting really sick of how anything heterosexual gets a pass in this country. Don't Ask Don't Tell is an abomination. 14,000 troops have been thrown out of the armed forces and in many cases convicted felons are taking their places. Criminals can serve openly in the military and gay people can't. Criminals can get legally married and gay people can't. Why aren't people more pissed off? As I pay my taxes on October 15, I pay knowing that I am not treated equally in this country because I am a homosexual - that my partner and I are not entitled to the same rights at MaryKay LeTourneau and her husband. That should I G-d forbid collapse at a theme park in Florida and be rushed to the hospital, my partner wouldn't be allowed to stay by my bedside. Look, I know the economy sucks. I know there is a war. I know Christine O'Donnell has never had an orgasm. I know all that. But come on already. Let's stop waiting for everyone else to do something about this. It is so incredibly unfair. You should be more pissed off that 10% of the population is treated like second class citizens than the fact that your portfolio is down. At least you know you'll get social security and pension benefits from your husband or wife, while I'm doing stand-up at The Chuckle Hut from my wheelchair.
Now, I have been pitching a reality show for a while. Stop judging. I don't think it's ideal to have my children on television, but I do think it's important to put a real family with gay parents on TV. I have always wanted to do a show about my family where people watch it and forget that we're gay because we just as boring as everyone else, and deal with the same everyday issues. I am a stand-up comic, I have 2 sons, one adopted, one bio, an elderly mother in a nursing home, a partner, an ex-partner who has a partner, lots of supportive friends and one bathroom. So essentially, my kids have 4 moms too, but we're not all sleeping with the same guy - actually we're not sleeping with any guys. My kids are pretty normal - I mean as normal as you're going to get with a mother who is a comedian. Now wouldn't you watch that show?
I'm getting really sick of how anything heterosexual gets a pass in this country. Don't Ask Don't Tell is an abomination. 14,000 troops have been thrown out of the armed forces and in many cases convicted felons are taking their places. Criminals can serve openly in the military and gay people can't. Criminals can get legally married and gay people can't. Why aren't people more pissed off? As I pay my taxes on October 15, I pay knowing that I am not treated equally in this country because I am a homosexual - that my partner and I are not entitled to the same rights at MaryKay LeTourneau and her husband. That should I G-d forbid collapse at a theme park in Florida and be rushed to the hospital, my partner wouldn't be allowed to stay by my bedside. Look, I know the economy sucks. I know there is a war. I know Christine O'Donnell has never had an orgasm. I know all that. But come on already. Let's stop waiting for everyone else to do something about this. It is so incredibly unfair. You should be more pissed off that 10% of the population is treated like second class citizens than the fact that your portfolio is down. At least you know you'll get social security and pension benefits from your husband or wife, while I'm doing stand-up at The Chuckle Hut from my wheelchair.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
He Says/Inez
I have mixed feelings about the Inez Sainz situation. Part of me thinks that she should be able to do her job and not have to be subjected to the immature cat calls of supposedly grown men, but the other part of me thinks she should dress like a journalist. I know from doing stand-up that nobody would laugh at a hot looking chick wearing a sexy, provocative outfit. First of all, the guys wouldn't be listening to her jokes and the women would be jealous and watching their boyfriends. But that doesn't matter because honestly, how many hot, sexy female comics are there? We're funny for a reason - and it's not because we were homecoming queens.
Here's what really pisses me off. Nobody is giving the players any responsibility. Why the hell can't she interview these athletes without them acting like total adolescent idiots? "Oh, they're just acting like men." Well, she's just acting like a woman. Why can't these guys control themselves, and why is it okay that they don't? Why can't a football player give an interview to an attractive, hot woman who loves sports? I mean, isn't that your ideal woman?
I always think of their mothers. What would their mothers say? How would they feel if their mothers were being harassed by a bunch of thugs? Half these guys are bald with hair coming out of their ears and nose, fat stomachs, and dumb as a brick - and yet they judge how a woman should dress around them so that they can give her some respect and the time of day? I don't think so.
If I had Inez's body, I'd probably dress like that too. Okay, maybe not - I'm Jewish, but still - she has the right to dress the way she feels comfortable. It's time that men stop blaming their dicks for everything. Have some restraint. On the other hand, if she was wearing a suit, this whole thing might not be an issue and she would get work as a sports journalist rather than the probable future reality show and Penthouse spread.
Here's what really pisses me off. Nobody is giving the players any responsibility. Why the hell can't she interview these athletes without them acting like total adolescent idiots? "Oh, they're just acting like men." Well, she's just acting like a woman. Why can't these guys control themselves, and why is it okay that they don't? Why can't a football player give an interview to an attractive, hot woman who loves sports? I mean, isn't that your ideal woman?
I always think of their mothers. What would their mothers say? How would they feel if their mothers were being harassed by a bunch of thugs? Half these guys are bald with hair coming out of their ears and nose, fat stomachs, and dumb as a brick - and yet they judge how a woman should dress around them so that they can give her some respect and the time of day? I don't think so.
If I had Inez's body, I'd probably dress like that too. Okay, maybe not - I'm Jewish, but still - she has the right to dress the way she feels comfortable. It's time that men stop blaming their dicks for everything. Have some restraint. On the other hand, if she was wearing a suit, this whole thing might not be an issue and she would get work as a sports journalist rather than the probable future reality show and Penthouse spread.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
My Secret
I'm going to miss Dr. Laura. I loved listening to her on long car rides. She was so entertaining - the way she treated her callers like stupid idiots. I loved how she told mothers they must stay home with their children and referred to herself as her kid's mom when she would spend hours in a recording studio working. I love how impressed she was with herself, and of course, that she acted like a psychologist when her PhD is in physiology. She was so judgmental of others even though she had an affair with a married man, shacked up before marriage, posed for nude photos, and was estranged from her mother and sister. Did I mention that her mother's remains were found in her Beverly Hills condo 2 months after she died?
I remember when I discovered Dr. Laura. I was living in LA and spending lots of time in my car. Talk radio was big, and Dr. Laura was the biggest. The time I spent sitting in traffic flew by as I listened to her rudeness. It was astonishing how many people would call in just to be told that they are bad parents, wives, husbands, sons, daughters. I loved it. It made me feel great about myself. I subscribed to her newsletter. I just couldn't get enough of someone with so much hubris. Then she did it. She said that homosexuality was a biological error. She said that gays shouldn't be able to adopt children. I called the newsletter to cancel. They didn't seem to care. I said, "Don't you want to know WHY I'm canceling?" "Nope." Well I hope her son Deryk is GAY!
Her stance on homosexuality didn't deter her a bit. She went on. I boycotted her for a while. Then she retracted her statements, and I have to admit, I snuck in a few broadcasts. Her stance on gay marriage is appalling, and yet she would talk about her gay friends. Whatever. Nobody knew I was listening. It's funny how we (the gays) tried to silence Dr. Laura, and it couldn't be done - not until she became a racist. Did you hear it? She said the N word 11 times. It was like a kid in a candy store. What the fuck does she know about being an African American woman? At some point, you might want to admit you're out of your league Dr. Laura.
So, come December, it's going to be all over. No more Dr. Laura. I'm sure she'll succeed in some other venue and she'll have plenty of people volunteering for some abuse. I'll miss her hypocrisy. I'll miss her maniacal laugh and her bragging about how many sit-ups she can do. But mostly I'll miss the callers and their problems. That always made me feel like a better mother, daughter and partner.
Oh, and does anyone know if Deryk has a girlfriend?
Now go take on the day.
I remember when I discovered Dr. Laura. I was living in LA and spending lots of time in my car. Talk radio was big, and Dr. Laura was the biggest. The time I spent sitting in traffic flew by as I listened to her rudeness. It was astonishing how many people would call in just to be told that they are bad parents, wives, husbands, sons, daughters. I loved it. It made me feel great about myself. I subscribed to her newsletter. I just couldn't get enough of someone with so much hubris. Then she did it. She said that homosexuality was a biological error. She said that gays shouldn't be able to adopt children. I called the newsletter to cancel. They didn't seem to care. I said, "Don't you want to know WHY I'm canceling?" "Nope." Well I hope her son Deryk is GAY!
Her stance on homosexuality didn't deter her a bit. She went on. I boycotted her for a while. Then she retracted her statements, and I have to admit, I snuck in a few broadcasts. Her stance on gay marriage is appalling, and yet she would talk about her gay friends. Whatever. Nobody knew I was listening. It's funny how we (the gays) tried to silence Dr. Laura, and it couldn't be done - not until she became a racist. Did you hear it? She said the N word 11 times. It was like a kid in a candy store. What the fuck does she know about being an African American woman? At some point, you might want to admit you're out of your league Dr. Laura.
So, come December, it's going to be all over. No more Dr. Laura. I'm sure she'll succeed in some other venue and she'll have plenty of people volunteering for some abuse. I'll miss her hypocrisy. I'll miss her maniacal laugh and her bragging about how many sit-ups she can do. But mostly I'll miss the callers and their problems. That always made me feel like a better mother, daughter and partner.
Oh, and does anyone know if Deryk has a girlfriend?
Now go take on the day.
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