Brand Shmand

Okay, I've officially had it. So, I've been pitching a reality show with 2 amazing producers. The premise is this divorced lesbian mom of 2 who lives in a 950 square foot apartment in NYC with  her 2 kids. They have1 bathroom. She is a comedian, but her kids want her to have a "normal" job like the other kids' parents.  Her mother is in a nursing home, her girlfriend is a therapist, and her ex lives several blocks away with her girlfriend in a palatial apartment with a fireplace. (She's not bitter at all.)  She is struggling to make a living without going on the road and being away from her kids. Each week she tries out a new career so she doesn't have to go on the road anymore. She'll try anything - Bus driver, toll collector, carpet cleaner, Mr. Softee, tour guide, security guard, dog walker,  etc.  The great thing about the show is that it deals with so many issues that the majority of the population is dealing with - divorce, parenting, step-parenting, aging parent, (parent, parent parent), career crisis, mid-life crisis, money crisis (crisis, crisis, crisis).  We would end each episode with Shabbat dinner - something we do every friday night.

Now, one of the pivotal themes to the show is that we're gay, yet all of the issues we deal with are the same as straight families. It would show the world that our families are just like every other family, and perhaps  people would watch and forget that we are a gay. Maybe a gay teen would watch, and learn that he/she has the world at his fingertips - that there is nothing he can't accomplish - that he can have a family - especially in the wake of several tragedies in the past few weeks.  Doesn't that sound amazing?

Well we have been rejected at 4 networks thus far. Yesterday I found out that TLC passed. "They really like you, and they really like the show, but it doesn't fit with their brand." Their brand? What is their brand? A guy with 4 fucking wives and 16 kids trying to show that his family is just like mine? Someone who took fertility drugs, had 8 kids, went through a bitter public divorce and then got a ton of plastic surgery? That's a fantastic brand.  I don't think polygamy is normal. Sorry. I don't think polygamy is an "alternative lifestyle." I think it's barbaric. I don't even like to share my food, and these people are sharing a husband. Oh, those kids are going to be so well adjusted, and I'm sure the girls will have great self-esteem. But I guess it's a brand - like Sara Lee.  I wonder what she would do if her husband was screwing 3 other women in her home. I mean, come on, nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.